Judy detested three things: the use of "lay down" instead of "lie," straws, and the current administration's hatred and hypocrisy. Thankfully, her love for math, theatre, wind chimes, coffee, family, friends, Alexa music, gazebos, and Fred VanVleet overwhelmingly outweighed her grievances.

On March 27, 2025, she reported that her health was getting better and she would be able to take a ride in her daughter's new mid-life crisis sports car. But, in a devastating twist in typical theatrical Judy fashion, she unexpectedly bowed out.

Like the writer she was, her life unfolded in chapters. Judy Karen Ruder (Braswell) infused her storyline with passion, humor, resilience, and reinvention.

Chapter one began as an only child, born to Wayne and Pauline (Walters) Braswell on May 18, 1941. Her early love of numbers sparked a lifelong devotion to all things math. But for her, math was not just about predictability—it was about creating neurons, building thinking patterns, and shaping the cognitive strength supporting lifelong learning and analytical thinking. She would jokingly say many need more math in their lives!

After earning her teaching degree from Fort Hays State University, another chapter emerged as she devoted nearly 50 years to education—technically 49.5. We told her it was okay to round up, but she could not bring herself to fudge the math. This chapter had three distinct eras..

Being a high school math teacher was her contracted role, but she was so much more to her students. She cared deeply, and they knew it. More than one has shared that she quite literally saved their life. And yes, there are even reports that she made Algebra and Geometry fun. Gasp!

Following the passage of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), she changed her trajectory to special education. She began as a gifted facilitator, but eventually and with more training, she became the Director of Special Education in Oakley, Kansas. She created a summer program that demonstrated the way learning should be: theme-based, all-inclusive, and wholly student-centered. During her Oakley storyline, she also directed plays, coached academic bowl teams, was a track announcer, announced ONE football game, waited tables on the weekends to support her family, and was a 911 dispatcher. Additionally, she was on the state Blue Cross Blue Shield board, advocated for Jimmy Carter and the democratic party, ran the Kayette club, acted and directed in Oakley's summer melodrama, and so much more. And, oh, much to the chagrin of Trevor, she was a sex ed teacher for a few years, too.

The last education subsection began post-retirement, as her retirement was a plot twist rather than a denouement. Moving to Wichita to support her aging parents, she once again found mathematics calling her. She enrolled, hoping to earn a master's degree in mathematics. Her house was full with twenty-something grad students and this 50-something woman doing Good Will Hunting-style equations on her kitchen's sliding glass doors with dry-erase markers. Then, Tia shared a job posting from the Education department at Wichita State University, which could have easily been written for her!. She dedicated her final professional chapter to her passion: instructing aspiring special education teachers on how to become the best versions of themselves, both for their students and the field.

Another storyline that emerged from Fort Hays State University was meeting her husband, Duane. While that particular inciting action was fraught with challenges and difficulties, the marriage procured what she would call her greatest salvation: four incredible children—Paula, Tia, Tana, and Trevor.

Mom believed that God sent Paula to teach her humility and selflessness. In Paula's short 19 years with us, she brought pure joy, gentleness, and perspective. Mom often said she was more vain and judgmental before having Paula—though we would argue that Mom was always compassionate, with a depth of human compassion that we all should strive for. We are confident that the moment she arrived in heaven, she wrapped Paula in a long, healing hug—one every mother who's lost a child dreams of. And knowing Paula, she's already bubbling with joy, showing Mom her way. Hopefully, her mamma and dad, Duane, plus her own beloved Granny are helping with this transition.

Tia was Mom's most sensible child—the one who took it upon herself to care for all of us from the moment she could talk and walk. And care deeply she does. This often concerned Mom. They shared a deep love of music, though it manifested differently: for Mom, it was the joy of listening; for Tia, it became a lifelong calling. It was Mom who encouraged Tia's instrument choice. Mom adored Tia's steady, practical mind—so often the calm in our storms—and cherished her fierce loyalty to friends and family. Their bond was rooted in trust, mutual admiration, and a rhythm all their own.

Mom always knew Trevor's unfaltering character. Observing his love for his children filled her heart with healing. Additionally, he presented her with the best daughter-in-law, Kazumi, whose grace and kindness illuminated Mom's life. Moe Irene, 11, and Itsuki Jake, 8, were the final pieces that completed her heart. Moe spent a semester with Grandma last year, and the hugs and smiles she received had an indelible impact on her happiness. Jake stayed for a month, and his energy and spunk gave her new breath. We are eternally appreciative of the time they spent with her last year, as they reside in Japan.

Tana has always been the family's outlier. She was quiet yet always observing. Throughout the past few years, Mom never failed to express her gratitude for Tana's daily caregiving, even when it was grumpy. Tana, of course, would tell you she was more grateful for all the care Judy gave her. However, she let her mother down by not marrying Ari Shaffer. There is still hope to honor Mom's wish, though. @Arishaffer #callTana.

Tana frequently jests that she is Mom's favorite, but this is solely because she introduced Mom to the first of her three greatest loves—her grandchildren, Mandela Jude-Paul, 17. This love is not limited to their shared May 18th birthday; Mandela has lived his entire life with his G'ma by his side. Reading, laughing, or doing math, what they had was irreplaceable.

Tia, Tana, Mandela, Trevor, Kazumi, Moe, and Jake can not thank you enough for your love for Judy, even in her curmudgeon mode stemming from pain and discomfort. If you were one of her caregivers, thank you for holding space for her in her most vulnerable moments. If you were one of her former students, she still shared stories about you—specific ones, with names and details. If you were a lifelong friend, she thought of you often. She adored her family and friends. And regretted her chronic bronchitis and limited mobility kept her from socializing more.

We would be delighted if you could share a favorite memory of Judy for her memorial, regardless of whether it is humorous, sweet, silly, or inspiring. Memories may be shared on https://bit.ly/judystories. In lieu of flowers, please donate to your local Meals on Wheels. Mom's was Park City, Kansas. Or plant some effing daisies!

Judy's memorial is on April 12, 2025, at 10:00 at College Hill United Methodist Church, 2930 E 1st St N, Wichita, KS. It is live-streamed at https://collegehillumc.org/worship/worship-services. If you are joining us, please share a memory during the ceremony. Also, wear joyous colors. There will be a small gathering in the parlor after the service, and Judy's favorites of coffee, tea, and sweets will be served.

Oh! Did you know she was only one solo flight away from earning her pilot's license, too? Lastly, Judy—also known as Mom, Grandma, Jo'Mamma, JuRu, Rudy Juder, friend, and educator—deeply loved daisies. She would demand you take a moment to enjoy them. If she was able to write this herself, we are sure she would claim she is just fine because in the hierarchy of human suffering, this ain't no big thang. We love you and will gravely miss you. We beg you don't haunt us as we are going to have to discard paper piles now!